Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
