Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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