Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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