My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
