He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Couch. On fire.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
