I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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