Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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