hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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