i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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