funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
