to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
