That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
