Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
