Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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