I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
