it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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