My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
