i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I will be naked everywhere
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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