Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
