Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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