why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
