I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
