come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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