Small penises have feelings too.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
