we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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