I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
