Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
