I wish my penis had an off switch
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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