You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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