you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
