Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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