it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
