The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
