weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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