If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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