you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
