Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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