Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
