Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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