Tell her she can't have a vagina
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
