I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize