i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
