Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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