you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
