do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
