He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize