dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
