Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
