Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize