Nicole vs. Life
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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