Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
