Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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