I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
