Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
