i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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