I've blown a few things in my day
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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