I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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