i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
