why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
