Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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