It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
