Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
