did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
