I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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